Outline

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Relationships, Functionally

The Functional Lens

The core idea of understanding behavior in terms of its function, exploring the view of behavior controlled as by the process of “reinforcement learning” based on B. F. Skinner’s theory of “Radical Behaviorism” a.k.a. “Operant Conditioning,” discussed through analogy to evolution. 

Punishment and Avoidance

Within the “reinforcement learning” paradigm, the function of “punishment” to create “avoidance.” How this shows up in and shapes relationships in (typically undesirable) ways, and thoughts about how to confront these negative effects

Predictive Partnership

The theory of “predictive coding” from neuroscience, which describes an analogous process to reinforcement learning, with some differences in emphasis that can be useful. 

Emotion and Attachment in Relationships

Emotion and Attachment

Discussion of what emotions are and how they work, functionally speaking.  An overview of attachment theory, and how emotions triggered by the state of attachment relationships function to organize those relationships. 

Parenting Selves and Partners

  • Discussion of “self-parenting” as a working metaphor for the task of “emotional management” and interactions between the management of one’s own emotional “inner child,” and various efforts to manage a partner’s emotional experience

Relationships, Systemically

Systems Theory

Overview of core concepts of feedback loops, homeostasis, and the sensor-controller-actuator model of cybernetic systems.  “Systemic Thinking” as distinct from “reductionist” thinking, and advantages to looking at your relationships that way.

Relationship Structure

The core idea of the function of a system being determined by its structure, discussed in the abstract, and in application within the models of Structural Family Therapy

Complex Relationships

Complexity

Overview of the “theory of complex systems” including concepts of self-organization, emergence, order/chaos, nonlinearity, and attractor states.  Tying back to “behavioral-evolution” the concept of relationship-as ecosystem.

Diversity, and Being Yourself

The theoretical “level of complexity” in a system is synonymous with “diversity,” the parallel to the concept of “biodiversity” in ecosystems, the conditions under which it develops, and those under which it is threatened.  The idea that behaviorally “diverse” relationships are desirable because they make it easy to “be yourself,”… and inversely how “being yourself” is a good way to promote diversity.